I feel worried all the times, when I go to bed at night then numerous thoughts come in my mind and I feel just helpless; sometimes these thoughts are so immense that I can’t sleep at night for most of the time. I have become very irritated and turn explosive on petty issues. My mind is surrounded with evil thoughts all the times (Ahmed Ali, Sahiwal)
Our Reply:
There are some internal reasons for restless and sleeplessness and due to keep it brief, it would be difficult to know the fundamental causes of these conditions. The good thing that emerges from your letter is that you have a good concern for your problems. You are discussing them and want to get rid of them. There would be greater chances of luck if you strive to solve them, you should discuss them with your family doctor for sleeplessness. The medical examination would assess if you are physically and mentally in a good condition as the sleeplessness has a direct link with physical/mental illness. The domination of worrying thoughts over your mind may also be one of the reasons of sleeplessness. In order to get rid of these, you should replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. These thoughts are just like fresh air and they will blow away the stinky thoughts very soon. You should spare some time to understand the translation and interpretation of Quran, that will also help change your thoughts.
Evil Thoughts in the Heart:
I am married since a year. This is my first marriage, my husband was married once before and he has children from his previous wife but I am childless. Whenever he meets the other wife, I feel quite bad and very hard to tolerate it. I feel highly stressed and loads of evil thoughts come to my mind. (R. Lahore)
Advice:
You shouldn’t get disappointed for being childless as it is been since a year that you got married. Were you aware before your marriage that your husband was already married and had children? If everything is not a shocking surprise and you were already aware of the situation before then you should tolerate your husband to meet his other wife. If you were not told about these facts previously even then you should try to adapt yourself. The other wife and children are also his responsibility and it is quite important to love them for some time and take care of them. You should prepare yourself to see the same behaviour from your husband. If he is fulfilling his responsibility to you, then you must not leave any room for the evil thoughts in your mind.
I Wish to Cry:
I am 18 and I study in the third year. I feel a strong burden over my mind with every passing day, I wish to cry bitterly. Even a petty thought turns me so sobbing that I start crying and cry so vehemently. After a short period of crying, I feel peaceful. I wonder how I have developed such an attitude (Safdar Jahangir)
Advice:
Being sensitive and willing to cry is a symptom of depression and anxiety. The patient feels sob and sorrow all the times which can be temporary as well as permanent. This condition can easily be distinguished from other conditions. It is also linked with physical changes at the age of puberty and can become intense if not heeded properly. It is easy to trace the common man’s worries but the depressed people can turn sob without any particular reason. This problem is as old as to the age of Socrates and in this modern time, the experts consider it as a psychological disorder. Even the young kids have developed it and if a person fall a victim to it, he should contact a psychiatrist immediately.
I have A Liberal Minded Cousin:
I have religious trends but my fiancé who is also my cousin, is quite liberal minded. We are engaged for eight years now and she started taking interest into another cousin of her and has refused many a times to marry me. Then she accepted our gifts and I was feeling quite satisfied. Although she is happy to marry me but I have a reservation over her friendship to the other cousin. I want to be the only loved one. It is very sensitive as if I refuse to marry her then that would create huge trouble in the family. (J, Multan)
Advice:
When your fiancé was refusing to marry you, you had tried to convince her back and now when she is willing to marry you, it would never be appropriate to dump her as the conditions now suit you better. For your satisfaction you should get a detailed opinion through any accomplices. Would she be able to end her friendship with the other cousin? The dialogue and exchange of thoughts would make it easier for both of you to decide for your future.
Only One Wish:
I have one strong wish since my early childhood and this wish has ruined all the joys of my life. I want to become a boy, I wonder what would you think about me but it is a fact. We are four sisters with no brother. I am the youngest and want to be a good support for my parents. By the way, my pattern of behaviour like body language, hobbies, conversation and attitudes are quite masculine (A.M, Hyderabad)
Advice:
There is a biological difference between a man and a woman but sometime due to having more daughters in the family, one of them is made to wear boyish dresses and if he gets an opportunity to play with the boys, she would be joining them too. You are struggling to turn into a boy, it may affect the femininity in your personality. Actually you are feeling better to turn into a boy. This attitude and thought is absolutely wrong and would affect your life if you strengthened it further. It would be better if you accept yourself as you are. You can also help your parents as a daughter similarly. Now a day, the girls are much more educated than even the boys and are living a more successful life as compared to boys.
